You have a message
by Kinky Kat
Summary: Spoilers for the last episode of Invasion. When Dick returns to his flat in Blüdhaven, all he wants is to be left alone so he can mourn. But there is a message on his phone's answering machine, which he can't ignore. Birdflash, Spitfire and ninja!MuseumHeist.


It took him hours to finally reach the stairs leading up to his flat. He kept glancing around, hoping that nobody had been stupid enough to follow him, to comfort him or to offer him company. He didn't need any sweet words, awkward hugs or sympathetic girls climbing into his lap. What he needed was Wally West, well and alive. Preferably cracking a joke that he'd be so busy with Artemis the next few days, that neither of them would get out of bed. Dick would genuinely laugh at that sort of joke now.

Even if sometimes, laughing about anything concerning the _Spitfire_ couple hurt.

But no, the Kid Idiot had to do the thing he always wanted to do and played the role of a hero to the very end. When they were still young and only getting to know each other, Wally confided in him and in a hushed voice admitted that he had copied Barry's experiment only for one reason – he wanted to become a hero. And he was, the most brave and noble one. He retired only because he felt his powers weren't enough and begged Artemis to go with him, so he wouldn't feel alone.

Sometimes, Dick liked to think he would step aside as well, if Wally had asked him to.

What had happened had made Dick so angry, even if he knew the speedster. The recklessness of his decision had hurt so many... Wally could have left it to Impulse, or rather, to the new Kid Flash – and it hurt to think of Bart and naming him so – and the Flash. They could held on until Superman got back to Earth and used his own superspeed power. There surely were other ways to protect Earth. There had to be a way without Wally sacrificing his life.

Though deep down Dick knew that he also wouldn't hesitate in throwing his life away, if he knew it would make a difference.

As Dick climbed up the stairs, grateful that Barbara wasn't sitting on the steps, with a bag at her feet, he wondered if he shouldn't be in Central City. With Artemis. She was the only person that understood what he was feeling right now. The same came with Wally's parents, but Artemis loved Wally as a boy and as a man and as a friend.

The only difference was... She had the full right to express her pain. To mourn.

He stopped in the middle of the steps, his hand reaching to the bar on the side, to steady himself. He closed his eyes and breathed in and out deeply. Reminding himself that he hadn't got a mask concealing his eyes, which meant he couldn't have a break down right in front of his home, he lifted his eyelids and run all the way up. He fished to the front pocket of his jeans, retrieving the keys and quickly unlocked the door. He pushed them open with his shoulder, once again closing his eyes. Once inside, he leaned against the closed door, not bothering to turn on the light.

Right now, he felt like a true _Bat_ and embraced the darkness.

Ironically, just when he could finally express his feelings, he felt lethargic and empty, unable to even think about his own loss. Instead he laughed bitterly as he run his fingers through his hair and then down his face. It felt weird not to have a mask when he had been wearing it so often the recent few days. He almost missed it and felt a pang of guilt at it – Wally had always preferred when he wasn't hiding behind it.

Tonight, his mask was a blessing though.

His mask had a special system he designed after Jason Todd's death. Back then, when he learned his 'little brother' had died, he could only cry his eyes out at the unfairness of it all. Jay was a good kid and for a long time both Dick and Bruce blamed themselves for his death, until Tim got them out from the slump. But the moment he learned about his death – with his mask still on his face, Dick wanted to rip it off. The tears were in the way, they made his vision blurry and they couldn't escape, not with it still intact.

Dick would be forever grateful that Wally had used his superspeed to take him away from the Team, so he could take it off and let the tears fall.

Nowadays his and Tim's masks had a system that got rid of tears, while leaving their vision unaffected. He could feel like crying, but with every blink that would make the tears escape, they were vanished, without affecting the natural wetness of the eyeballs. It was Wally's idea, even if the project was completed by Wayne Tech.

How come everything Dick thought about, came back to the speedster?

Dick threw his head back and it connected with the door with a thud. It wasn't even painful, but he felt like he needed it. To smack his head repeatedly against a flat, hard surface. Remembering how he mourned Jason, made him recall how Artemis reacted to the news to Wally's death. He remembered how her knees gave out and she went to the ground, crying, while M'gann held her. He couldn't also forget the moment when later, Gar snapped at him asking if this was another stunt. And he would be forever haunted by how crushed both Bart and Jamie looked; Bart because he wanted a future where all speedsters could live in; Jamie because it was his fault that they found the last place too late.

And Dick could only stand and look at Barry, waiting for a message left for him. But he called Wally's parents and then his wife before embracing Artemis. He had nothing for Dick.

Pushing himself away from the door, he let the bag holding his Nightwing uniform and weapons fall to the floor. Blindly he made his way through his flat, knowing exactly how to move to avoid the furniture. He headed to the couch in the part serving as the living room and flopped himself on it. Usually he would do it in a true acrobatic fashion: with pirouettes, complicated jumps, graceful flip-flops.

But right now, he was just Dick. Not a Flying Grayson, or Robin, or Nightwing, not Bruce Wayne's ward. Just _Dick_, a boy who just lost the most important person in his life. Again.

He could feel the tears gathering underneath his closed eyelids, but they weren't even close to spilling. Vaguely, he wondered why he couldn't cry now, when he felt like crying for the last few hours. When he realized Wally hasn't been among the speedsters. When he looked at Kaldur and wished that at least he could look beyond his domino mask and see the anguish in the blue eyes. When he hoped Superboy heard how his heart stopped for a full second before he willed it to keep beating. When he decided he couldn't just join the team back and go on saving the world. No matter what Artemis and Kaldur said, he had to find a meaning to it. The world without Wally just didn't seem worth saving at the moment and Dick hated himself for thinking so, but the thought was there, nagging him.

In the privacy of his mind, Dick wondered how it was possible that Barbara and Bruce were still alive, when everyone he cared about died. When everyone he loved-

His eyes snapped open and he could feel it. The overwhelming urge to cry his feelings out. His gut clenched, the lungs begged him to take in a breath, his heart beat just a bit louder and faster. But even when everything was blurry, he couldn't cry, not yet. It made him laugh humorlessly, letting his head hung down, chin coming close to his chest. He hands were hanging down from his knees and he let his upper body lean forward, until he rested his elbows on his thighs.

"This is the exact opposite of aster," he whispered to himself, a joke that only few would understand.

Breathing in and out never had seem such a difficult task as back then. Somewhere in his heart he refused to believe that Wally was gone. There was no trace of his body, so there was no evidence that could prove he was dead or alive. He wanted to cling to that small ray of hope, even if a greater part of him knew it had been silly.

Still, he was a detective and he couldn't help the way his brain worked.

When they decided to outsmart the Light, Dick knew he had to be there to announce that Artemis was dead and to take care of her 'body', exactly for that reason. So nobody would check it, trusting him, knowing that he wouldn't make a mistake with it. It worked to their advantage.

The memory made him almost smile, despite the beads of tears clinging stubbornly to his eyelashes.

Wally had been so pissed off when Dick proposed to Artemis to join Kaldur in the undercover mission. He had been angry at Dick ever since and either went out to find excuses to fight with him or had been all kinds of unpleasant to him. The Team understood Wally's feelings and even Barbara hadn't defended Dick when Wally shouted at him that it was all Nightwing's fault. She didn't know it was a scam, but knew that Wally had to let it all out.

Just like tonight she knew Dick needed time to himself.

Sometimes, when there were only the two of them, Wally would slump against his side, apologize and laugh, blaming his foul mood on the lack of sex and the UST between him and Dick. Dick would laugh with him, even if it was hard to remain cool when hearing stuff like that. When he couldn't keep his thoughts about the speedster innocent.

Yeah, maybe he was a sick fuck, as some people thought about men liking other men. He couldn't help his feelings.

Dick willed himself to think about Artemis, as he closed his eyes again, unable to stare at his lap. Not when just a moment ago his thoughts wandered yet again to Wally's lean body... He took few deep breaths, to clear his mind, before focusing on Artemis. She hadn't blamed anyone, she just cried. And this had been one of the strongest people Dick had known. She broke down and even then, when her whole future broke apart in front of her, she was able to stand up, pushing M'gann away and step up to him and look at Dick just before she offered him a hug.

A hug he couldn't return.

_'I'm so sorry,'_ she had whispered into his ear between sobs, before she pulled away. Her eyes, filled with tears, were so sad but not only for her loss. She opened her mouth, her lips trembling and just mouthed the next words, in case someone else would hear her. But to Dick it was as if she screamed them out.

_'I know what he meant to you.'_

The memory made him squeeze his eyes shut and the first tears finally trailed down from the corner of his left eye. He gasped and opened them, feeling them getting wide, almost surprised that he was able to cry after all. He stayed with his mouth open, his breath coming out if huffs, which turned into sobs quickly. Did she really, truly knew? Or where those only pretty words she offered as comfort? To make him feel better?

Just how the hell was that supposed to make him feel better?

He had enough. His hands slid lifelessly to rest at his sides as his back hit the couch cushions behind him. It was uncomfortable and he could have moved to the side to correct it, but he didn't care enough to do it. His best friend died. Without Nightwing there by his side, like he always promised to be. They were supposed to always be in it together. Instead, Wally West ceased to exist, without knowing that for Dick Grayson, he was much more than just a smart-ass of a friend.

No, to Dick, he was the whole world.

He suspected that Wally knew. He was way smarter than he let people think. And Dick sometimes was tired of hiding his feelings and was painfully honest with the other. Sometimes his hand lingered on Wally's shoulder for a moment too long. And as often Wally would put his head above Dick's, when he was still the taller one. There were so many memories, daily and silly situations he would always remember and the most important ones always went back to Wally. His eyelids dropped and in front of his eyes images from the past displayed themselves, taunting him.

_'So, the glasses are supposed to help you being incognito? Dude, I have superspeed, I could have snatched them away in a blink of an eye if I wanted to. So either you'll tell me your real name, or I will call you Princess Wonderful. Or steal those stupid shades.'_

He always had to have it his way, no matter what. When his eyes landed on Miss M. for the very first time, he concluded he should make her his, just because he was the best among the group and thus, needed a superhero girlfriend. Dick teased him about it until his sixteenth birthday when Wally decided that he should be more mature and not look for love so he learned about it, Dick joked that out of his Robin suit, he should wear a shirt sporting a 'pick me!' sign. They both laughed about it.

_'We are already the best superhero duet. Well, not counting or partnerships with our mentors. But they're old, they don't count.'_

Wally had a cocky grin, which sometimes looked ridiculous, when his face was still covered with freckles and when he was fighting with acne, sometimes loosing the battle. But it showed how confident he could be and that confidence always made Dick envious – it was natural and real. He learned how to be self-assured thanks to Wally.

_'You are my best friend, but I'm going to kick your ass if you'll deliberately keep me off the mission. Never again. Got it, Boy Wonder?'_

And even if Dick had known that Wally always had his back, he also known he was the first one to tease him and shout at him if Dick was being an idiot. He would poke Robin and laugh about his cape, he would ruffle his hair when he had it gelled in his Richard Grayson persona. He would steal his Escrima sticks and use them as drumsticks on Nightwing's butt. And when it was only the two of them, he would take off Dick's glasses with a smile.

_'I like your eyes, your smiles are softer when you aren't hiding them. No homo though.'_

Oh how many times Dick had laughed at the silly jokes. At the insinuations that they're like life-partners, only heterosexual. And it was true – Wally, all jokes aside, was a commitment kind of guy, truthful and loyal – he wouldn't cheat on Artemis. And Dick...? Dick had slept and went out with almost every female he knew. He made them feel special and remained friends with each one of them. It was a miracle that he had a special kind of relationship with Barbara, but it was more thanks to her understanding his feelings better than anybody else.

She knew there was only one person he was capable of loving.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, chuckling. It was like Jason's death all over again. Back then he returned to the Wayne Manor though, slipped into his old room and wept there until Alfred found him and offered him tea and cookies. When Bruce came back, they mourned together. Today he was alone and even though he was a bit older, it was still hard to face the truth.

Yet another person who made his life meaningful was gone.

Lifting his head and rubbing at his eyes to get rid of the last traces of tears, he almost missed the small red light pulsing in the darkness. It was quiet and his sigh sounded loud in the silence. He looked over at his phone and wondered if he was ready to listen to whatever his friends wanted to tell him to console him.

Suddenly, the thought amused him.

"Dick, don't be alone tonight," he said in a high-pitched voice which was supposed to imitate Barbara, "Hey handsome, maybe you are ready to have a second date with me?" he changed his voice to a slightly deeper one, like the blond girl he met last week had, before finally he modulated it to be just like Tim's: "Er, Dick? You know we can come and visit you. With Cassie. I'm with Cassie now. So, yeah. Let me know."

Not in the mood for further jokes, Dick shook his head. He did feel a bit like a bastard though, making fun of Tim. He shouldn't have.

Not wanting to take a guilt trip and not ready to face any of his friends, he decided to call back whoever thought it would be a good idea to disturb him. He knew that if he kept quiet, he would make them desperate enough to visit him. Releasing his lower lip he was biting on, he pushed himself up and made his way to the answering machine. He flicked on the light switch and blinked, wincing at the onslaught of brightness around him. He eyed his phone and with a small resigned sigh, pushed the buttons to listen to the recorded message.

"You have one new voice message," the machine announced and Dick snorted bitterly.

"Tell me something I don't know," he muttered to himself, after making his way to the kitchen to grab himself a glass of water. He just curled his fingers around the plastic bottle, when the loud beeping sound ended, marking the beginning of the recording.

"B03," a familiar, computer-like voice announced and Dick's mind went blank, knowing who had that number when using Zeta beams.

The bottle fell from his fingers and his whole body froze in the same moment. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe, he could only listen to Wally's voice, slightly deformed by the phone and the loud wind. Making Dick realize he was running. Which meant this was recorded when he was making his way to the North Pole.

Just before he ceased to exist.

"Yeah, so I don't have much time, have to save the world," the speedster laughed and Dick made a choking sound, finally releasing the breath he was holding and grabbing the counter to steady himself, or he would fall to the floor just like the bottle did. Wally's voice continued mercilessly, though it sounded much more serious now. "Dick, I think I'm going to do something stupid. I feel like I'm running to my-" the speedster laughed again and Dick could hear how strained it was. He closed his eyes and this time the tears slipped from under the eyelids effortlessly.

He had a dying message from Wally.

"If I won't make it, don't tell Artemis I called you, she would kill me again. I-She would understand but it would hurt her. I never want to hurt her. Except maybe now I will have to," Wally sighed and gulped and laughed and choked on the next words, "Please forgive me okay? I know that Barry and Bart are going to be there and this is my last chance to- to say it out loud. To tell you."

Dick fought the urge to scream. If Wally knew he was going to die, if he went there knowing that, then he was a bigger idiot than Dick had thought. And braver than any member of the Team or Justice League.

"You know I'm not as fast as them. But I will help and I will save them," Wally's voice was quiet, serious – Dick could count only few instances of him using that tone of voice when talking to him, "I'm sorry, dude," his voice sounded broken and sad and it only doubled the pain Dick was feeling, "I'm breaking our promise."

It was disgusting. Crying, with a running nose, whimpering, at his age. But it was Wally talking to him as if he thought that Dick needed to hear all this from him. When the truth was – he wasn't telling anything Dick hadn't known.

He spun around at some point while listening to Wally's voice and leaned his elbows against the back of the couch. He entwined his trembling fingers and clenched them. He had to watch his answering machine, to make sure he wasn't just imaging it from the grief. He ignored how greasy he felt, how exhausted his both body and mind were. At this moment, the only thing which mattered was that Wally continued talking. Dick needed to hear more of his voice. He couldn't imagine that this was the last time he would be hearing it.

"Dick, there is one more reason I'm calling."

Dick wasn't sure if he wanted to know the said reason. Because all he had been hearing till now had made him even more miserable. His knuckles were white and hurting, but he couldn't let them go. He could barely blink, his eyes glued to the small red light on his phone's answering machine.

"I never told you, and I will erase this message if I make it through, mind you, so you will never known about this then."

Wally had been making pauses between sentences now as if they were meant to be meaningful. Dick couldn't figure why, but he had few guesses. There was no time to analyze them though and Dick silently begged Wally to run into his room and stop the machine. So he wouldn't have to hear it, so he could ask Wally directly about it. So it would stop making him depressed.

"Speedsters always love two people."

At this point Dick's eyes snapped open and the stream of tears doubled. If he hadn't been leaning against the back of his couch, he would be on his knees, mirroring the pose Artemis had when she heard from Barry that Wally _loved_ her. He managed to whisper a broken 'no', but it didn't tune out the next words Wally said.

"Barry loves Aunt and Hal the most. I love Artemis and you. And it's that kind of love we always joke about."

Dick had no more strength to hold himself up. Right now, he wasn't a superhero. He wasn't brave and strong and he wasn't a great detective, because if he were, he would have figured it out and things might have been different – maybe Wally would be with Artemis, but before those two would get together, Wally and Dick would have at least a day or two or a month of shared happiness and it would be enough for Dick because he loved Wally more than anyone.

"She knows, I told her once and she understands and I know this must be a shock. If I died and you're hearing it I know it hurts you too. Damn, I should have thought this through," Wally chuckled.

In between sobs, the laughter sounded as broken and sad, but it was there, hanging in the air, making Dick's breathing a bit lighter. He remembered how he once told Artemis 'we'll laugh about it someday' and he figured out it's the same with Wally – yes, one day he would be able to laugh even about this message.

But for now, he was content to kneel on the floor, his hands in his lap.

"Dick. I love you. I'm sorry I never told you, but you only saw me as a friend and... I wanted you as one, despite the fact that- Everyone, straight or bent, loves your ass and you know, I like how you just get me, even when I'm stupid. And Artemis laughed at me when I once told her what I would do to you that I couldn't do to her and I wanted to tell you now, but-" Wally gasped and groaned. "I'm hanging off, I need to help them. Don't hate me."

The three, quiet beeping sounds were accompanied with a loud broken shout.

He had no idea how long it took for him to get up from the floor and head straight to the bathroom, discarding his clothes as he went. Nor did he know how much time he spent under the shower spray. But when he finally returned to his kitchen, picked up the bottle of water and drank straight out of it, he felt calm. As if he had gone through a catharsis when he was reduced to a sobbing mess on the floor. When Jason died, it took him days to accept what had had happened and snap out of his depression. Now, however, he knew he was back to being himself.

But he still wouldn't get back to the Team. Not yet.

He hadn't bothered to dress after his shower, only having a towel around his hips. He slowly made his way through his flat, turning off the lights in the other rooms. Just before he went into his bedroom, he glanced back at his answering machine, but there were no new messages for him. He shrugged and went into the even darker room, closing the door behind him with a click.

Letting the towel fall, he stretched. It was a big day and he was tired. For now, he would concentrate on the neighborhood and see if sometimes he could take Tim's place at Batman's side. He even felt thrilled with the idea.

And he would not stop hoping that one day, when everyone would be least expecting it, Wally would return to them, running, exhausted, but alive. He would be embarrassed about the whole confession thing, but Dick would laugh about it and shoo him to Artemis, because that was the extent of his love – to know when to let go. Unless Wally would like something else and Artemis wouldn't kill them both. Well, Dick was ready to wait and see.

"We'll laugh about it some day," he whispered to himself, while crawling under the covers. And he truly believed it.


End file.
